"Weeping may endure for a night, but JOY comes in the morning." - Psalm 30:5
One month ago today I looked into my soulmate's eyes and kissed him one last time before he left this earth. The path we had shared together for 33 years, came to an end the way it had begun - with gazing into each other's eyes and feeling the fire of love. Now I begin a new journey alone - except for the blue butterflies that accompany me each day, to remind me of the joy to be found in every moment. My sweetheart Johnny had promised me he would send me the butterflies if there was any way possible, to let me know he was watching over me from heaven. I have been finding them almost every day in many different forms.....books, pictures, signs, plaques, keychains, notepads, journals, statues etc.
I think I have found them because I look for them. It is as simple as that. They bring me such delight when I discover them. It occurred to me that such is our quest for joy that each of us seek each day. Joy is always waiting around the corner to be found in the life of every person. Even in the midst of storms that surround us we can always choose to dance in the rain. When we can come to understand that God is with us in every moment, we can have the kind of faith that believes that if we trust Him - everything is always working towards our greater good. Faith always leads us to rainbows after every storm.
I have had to put "feet to my faith" this past month, as I let go of Johnny and released him into God's hands. Now here are major trust issues! How do you trust God when our earthly eyes cannot see the void your beloved has disappeared into? How can you breathe a sigh of relief and believe they are ok? This is especially hard for a nurturer such as myself, who has spent so many years tending to Johnny's every need, and making his happiness my greatest priority. The greater question is....how do I stop missing him?
In these times when no earthly answers are available to me, the only choice I have, is to turn to God. I know the only thing that can sustain me is the joy I find in Him. I put on a happy face in the morning, before I can think about the realities I face during the day. I choose my own reality, which is based in the truths of God's Word. His word tells me that finding joy will be my greatest strength. And so, blue butterflies are the symbol of the joy I seek each day. I live in search of blue butterfly moments and keep my eyes on the Lord so that He can lead me to my purpose I was created for.
I'm not sure how long the butterflies will continue to appear. But I know that joy will always be waiting, and in every moment I find it, I will think of blue butterflies and Johnny.
I invite you all to join me on the new journey in search of everyday ways to find the joy that waits for each of us! We don't have a second to waste. I chose Psalm 30 to begin my new blog journey with because it bears an important message for all of us. It is a song of praise written for all of us who have known the despair of suffering in our own personal pits, who have cried out to God to be rescued, and the joy of being saved by God's grace. It illustrates the importance of living in joy and lighting up the world around us. The last 2 verses are the song my soul now sings:
"You have turned my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me in gladness, to the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God I will give You thanks forever." - Psalm 30:11-12